Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
