I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You're a disaster
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