It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
