Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
