no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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