I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I don't think brook has ever known best
4 words: hood of his car
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
