Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
