she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
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He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
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He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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