dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
