If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
