so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize