I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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