Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
