You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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