Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
