i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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