she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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