like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
