even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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