you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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