the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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