Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
