Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
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what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
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I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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