..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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