Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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