Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
