Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
