thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
