My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You smell like stripper and shame
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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