I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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