those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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