I wish life had little blips of pornography
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
