Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
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There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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