too bad you live with your parents still
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
