drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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