Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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