I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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