the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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