I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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