if only i could text you this smell
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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