I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
