didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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