life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
