So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's blow job season.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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