Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
