so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
