You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
