I wanna bring you to show and tell
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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