Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
