I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
