11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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