he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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