This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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