Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
