how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
