There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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