It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
