I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
