THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
