my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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