don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
