it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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