found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
