He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
