and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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