Your face is a jimmy john
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
