Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
